Classic Entry in the Galactic Encyclopaedia: Sweat

The following story was posted by an anonymous author over at 8chan's /tg/ board on 18-07-15.

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Lifeform > Sapient Races > Sapient Races by Area > Scorpius-Centaurus Association > Sol System > Terra > Humans > Physical Traits

(. . .) although humans frequently consider themselves physically inferior to many Terran animals of similar size and see their cognitive capacities as the only feat that places them atop of the Terran food chain, the human body is capable of performing an often underestimated process called "sweating" or "perspiration". A highly efficient process of thermoregulation, sweating occurs as a response to a heightened core temperature of the human body and causes millions of small pores in the skin of a human to emit miniscule droplets of the eponymous "sweat", a clear liquid substances that chiefly consists of water as well as traces of minerals, lactic acids, and urea.

As the body begins to sweat, evaporative cooling sets in, so that humans can subconsciously regulate their core temperature. This makes humans into highly enduring long-distance runners, with human athletes (both professionals and amateurs) frequently running a "marathon", that is, a distance of no less than 26 miles (or about 600 phtang) in a matter of a few hours, all without taking a single break. Sweating also allows to human to survive and operate in high-temperature areas for significant spans of time when other species would be at risk of death due to heatstroke.

At particularly impressive example of the latter feat can be found in the Battle for the Erhardt: The Erhardt, a Terran civilian freighter with only a few unarmed crew members, was boarded by Klelmac pirates, an insectoid species whose ships had terrorized the local sector for decades. Well aware that they could not stand up to the Klelmac in a straight fight, the humans aboard the Erhardt made no attempt to stop boarding party of the pirates from entering and even opened the inter-transport hatch for them.

Once the Klelmac had entered the ship, however, the human crew instantly sealed the entry doors behind them and disabled some of the Erhardt's life support systems, particularly those that were responsible for cooling the ship. As a direct result, temperatures within the crew compartments of the Erhardt rapidly rose to almost 210° F (or almost 30,5 kyak), just under the boiling point of water. Thanks to their bodies natural thermoregulation ability, the human crew could withstand this heat for 35 minutes, whereas the Klelmac (who generally can not afford environment suits) quickly were incapacitated and died shortly after. After they were sure the invaders had expired, the human crew of the Erhard restored the life support system, grabbed the weapons of the invaders, and invaded them right back, killing most of the skeleton crew remaining aboard the Klelmac vessel. Apart from the 235.000 Sirin the crew of the Erdhardt made by selling the captured vessel, all of the crew members were also cited for their bravery and ingenuity in the face of immediate danger, and were given Level 4 merchant privileges.

( . . . ) ironically, humans often consider sweat a nuisance as the smell it creates when combined with certain bacteria commonly found on the human skin is unpleasing to them. Meanwhile, some of the insectoid and amphibian species in the Galactic League actually find this smell highly attractive, Whether or not this explains the immense success many human diplomats enjoy is debatable, but it certainly made for some strange bedfollows.